Cubs' new mascot has a rough debut

Just when you thought the Cubs couldn't become a bigger laughingstock, they became the butt of many jokes Monday when they introduced their first official mascot in modern history -- Clark, a "young, friendly Cub" who wears his baseball cap backward, will welcome and entertain fans as they enter crumbling Wrigley Field to watch Triple-A baseball on the North Side.

"The Cubs are thrilled to welcome Clark as the team's official mascot," Cubs senior director of marketing Alison Miller said in a statement. "Clark is a young, friendly Cub who can't wait to interact with our other young Cubs fans. He'll be a welcoming presence for families at Wrigley Field and an excellent ambassador for the team in the community."

Great, so Clark is supposed to be a family-friendly mascot. He can start by putting some damn pants on. As far as I know, only Donald Duck gets away with the whole shirt-but-no-pants combination. How would you like it if the first person you saw when entering the ballpark was a deranged bear with no pants on? That sounds about as appealing as watching the Cubs bullpen attempt to protect a one-run lead. It's enough to make you put a gun in your mouth and blow your brains out.

You can always count on Deadspin.com to seize on something this like this. Their article referred to Clark as "a nightmarish, perverted furry." They went on to challenge their readers to "do something horrible" to Clark. Deadspin's readers delivered, coming up with several images that were decidedly not family-friendly. I wonder how Cubs marketers feel about that.

Can't wait until the crosstown series in May. I hope Southpaw, the White Sox mascot, punches Clark right in his exposed crotch.